It’s overwhelming how many eating religions are available to follow (purchase).
I’m calling diets religions because that’s what they’ve become. Those who follow banting preach it to anyone who will listen, crusading around the globe converting the sugar-loving masses to a better way of life with banting markets and banting fairs that sell the gospel to the unenlightened. The paleo diet has it’s following quite close to religion because it’s almost a “if god made it you can eat it, if man made it, don’t” type belief and the gluten free believers pray to the chickpea and Tapioca flour Gods. Veganism bashes away at the low-life carnivores who refuse to understand that you don’t need to eat anything that comes from animals to survive. While high fat, high protein diets say this is exactly how we were supposed to live.
Somewhere in the background, are the older, “progressive” religions, the ones who understood that it’s hard to be so fundamental like Low Carb and Fat Free. They ruled the world as the religions in the 80s but are now seen as far too flexible.
And there you are. In the shopping aisle. Confused as fuck.
You’re having an existential crisis every time you buy groceries. You can’t buy a pumpkin because banting says no, but you can’t buy a steak because you shouldn’t eat red meat more than once every two weeks, and you can’t buy milk because its packed with sugar and bad proteins and you can’t buy eggs because shame poor chickens kept in tiny coops and you can’t buy rice cakes because they’re man made and processed and you can’t buy bread because it’s literally SATAN IN A BAG and you will die!! So you can buy spinach and broccoli and white chicken, maybe some microgreens for flavour. And water.
Or you can go to a Real Food Market. I went a real foods market in Bryanston recently. It’s a religious diet market where you can buy every possible type of diet food available. Banting sections, paleo sections, vegan sections, it’s got EVERYTHING.
Let’s unpack the words “Real Food”. A real food market – implying that not fake food but real food. Implying that everything you’re eating right now is a lie and that they stock the real stuff.
Tell me, does this picture below look real to you?
They also found a way to create the below atrocities. Fake fucking cheese – Cheddary and veegalloumi. Now you’re just fucking lying, Real Food Market.
A week later I was at the Oranjezicht City Farm Market where a lady named Jane Selander was selling real cheese from her small farm. I felt compelled to show her the pictures of the Cheddary and Veegalloumi while I stuffed my face with tastings of her delicious cow cheeses! Here is a picture of her Aroundcheese cheeses.
But let’s go back to our “Real Food” market. Here are some other delights I found while walking around watching the religious fanatics buying their over-priced coconut based everything. So much fucking coconut everywhere these days.
I’m sorry if I’ve depressed you. After seeing these “real” foods that day I was also pretty down. But here’s a picture of the brownie stand at the Oranjezicht city farm market to make you feel better.
There’s a word we haven’t heard in a long time. It became unpopular in the 90’s and now it’s possibly seen as the most mundane word in the dieting dictionary.
I’d like to see the word “moderation” make a comeback.
I’d like to see it override the religious fanatical diets holding the world by the neck and drown their noise out. Moderation. It’s a great word. It’s a freeing word. Eat REAL food. Real, delicious fucking food…in moderation. Nothing has to be evil, nothing even has to be pure. If you internalise this notion of moderation, I’m convinced you’ll need nothing else to lead a real foods healthy balanced lifestyle.
This is of course if you can tap into it. I didn’t mention that before I devoured that brownie, I had also smashed a fruit salad with yogurt in my face, inhaled a salmon and avocado bagel and downed 2 lattes all within 40 minutes.
I have a long way to understanding moderation. But I’d rather find moderation than be chocked by the demonising, dieting religions available.